


What it means to be a fiend

by Idiotallex



Category: Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne
Genre: Demi-feind is ace it might come up, He's kinda horny for violence, Kinda non-verbal Demi-fiend, No Smut, Other, Other characters mentioned - Freeform, Pixie and the fiend are like very close, Self-Reflection, if it's platonic or not can be up to you
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:40:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23065621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idiotallex/pseuds/Idiotallex
Summary: Naoki wondered why everyone assumed he was a demon when he still looked like a human. The only big difference he could see were the weird tattoos... Was it the pattern? He half turned in front of the hospital’s bathroom mirror trying to get a better look at his back and the...horn? Spinal growth? He tapped it with his finger, it felt like some kind of stone. Were all his bones like that now?“Didn't take you for someone who liked to admire themselves,” Pixie chirped getting kinda bored waiting for him to finish.He glanced at her, mumbling “I look human...”Scenes that illustrate some of the conflict and confusion a new half demon might experience, meaning that Pixie has a big role as the one who explains a lot of demon stuff to the demi-fiend.A lot of this is me projecting my own morality and thoughts about the Nocturne world, but with a nice helping of Pixie being a good partner through the vortex world. It'll probably touch on every major event and/or character in the game.
Relationships: Hitoshura | The Demifiend & Pixie
Comments: 9
Kudos: 29





	1. Shinjuku Medical Center

**Author's Note:**

> First fic, English isn't my first language. Let me know if something's weird.

Naoki wondered why everyone assumed he was a demon when he still looked like a human. The only big difference he could see were the weird tattoos... Was it the pattern? He half turned in front of the hospitals bathroom mirror trying to get a better look at his back and the...horn? Spinal growth? He tapped it with his finger, it felt like some kind of stone. Were all his bones like that now?

“Didn't take you for someone who liked to admire themselves,” Pixie chirped getting kinda bored waiting for him to finish.

He glanced at her, mumbling “I look human...”

She flew closer to his face tilting her head to the side “I guess you kinda do,” she pondered for a second. It was obvious there was something else Naoki was getting at. ”Oh! Don't worry, lots of really powerful demons look like humans too. I'm sure you can still grow stronger!” she cheered.

Naoki shook his head, felt his teeth itch. “No, I am... I used to...” a growl escaped his throat. He was finding it really difficult to articulate his angst, probably because he didn't understand it himself. “The conception, before that, I was completely human,” he said, because that was true. 

“Oh,” Pixie said with an uncharacteristically quiet tone. She fluttered helplessly for a moment “You don't seem human now.”

“Why?!” he snarled.

Pixie flew backwards quickly. 

Naoki covered his mouth with the back of his hand and looked to the ground, “Sorry...”

“It's fine!” she sprang back like it was nothing. “But I'm not sure how to answer that. I've never thought about what makes a demon a demon, hmm...” she held her chin, concentrating. “If I tried comparing you to a human I guess you just feel better?”

His hand fell to his side as he stared at her. 

Pixie flicked her wings “Oh you know what I mean!”

He shook his head, his mouth falling open a little.

“Wha- Well, I guess if you were human before, you really don't know what I mean huh?” she giggled “You're even more helpless than I thought!”

He huffed, exasperated.

“Okay, since you're so clueless I'll try to explain it better,” Naoki rolled his eyes at her, she was unaffected “It's like... I wouldn't follow a human around, you know? They're too weak and slow and just feel like a bad idea to be with.”

“They'd be a burden,” he mumbled unconsciously. 

“Right! And it's very important to have a strong pack and a strong leader,” She nodded to herself as if reciting some truism. “So I guess when I saw you, that's what I felt. Not necessarily that you're a demon, but that you'd make a good pack member!”

He nodded too. It made a great deal of sense to him. It was a logical strategy for survival. But... He realised that there was more to it, a need to build a group. A new instinct? A demonic compulsion? 

Pixie whined “Come on! Can't you sulk and walk at the same time.”

He huffed and moved to leave the room “I'm not sulking.”

Naoki gazed at the Forneus through the window, confused. There was no reason for him to stop, but there he was, staring. He could hear the group of allies he'd gathered mumble amongst themselves. Hua po sang, bird-like, while Kodama brushed against his hand, he pushed them away gently, too focused to even glance at them.

However, Pixie jumped right in front of his face, “What's the hold up?”

He tipped his head up, following the Forneus's path as he flew higher.

Pixie looked back at the Forneus, then at Naoki again “Scared you won't be able to beat him?” she guessed.

“No,” he furrowed his brow “I don't think.”

“Then what's up?” 

He watched the demon complete another lap around the courtyard. Naoki grumbled deep in his chest. Maybe it was the same feeling Pixie had described. That the demon was strong, a good addition to his team. He walked closer and placed his hands on the glass. 

“Should he join our group?” Naoki asked her.

Pixie's eyes widened, then she began giggling. So did most of his other demons. Naoki looked at them, even more confused.

“What?” 

Pixie stopped laughing “...That's not just a regular demon, that's a Boss,” she said it like it was supposed to explained everything. By the expressions on Naoki's face she could tell it wasn't getting through “You can't recruit a Boss!”

“Why not?” the rest of his group had settled down too, just as taken aback as Pixie by Naoki's obliviousness. 

She sighed, resigning herself to the fact that she really was going to have to explain all the intricacies of the demon world to him “Because he's claimed this as his domain. He isn't just going to up and leave because you asked,” she crossed her arms. “That's why he's floating around where everyone can see him.”

Something clicked inside Naoki. Forneus was marking his territory, showing off, taunting, just asking for someone to try and challenge him. Naoki felt heat stirring under skin. His teeth itched, his back went tense. He stared back the the Forneus, tracking the movements with a newfound sharpness.

“Uh... Naoki? You okay there?”

He jolted back from his thoughts. He felt the wide smile that had stretched on his face. He tried to stop it, but only managed to hide his teeth a little and continued to grin.  
“I'm good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have requests for Nocturne fics let me know, because I am incredibly starved for SMT3 fandom content. And thanks for reading.


	2. Yoyogi Park

“Yay!! We're finally here! I guess this is goodbye?” Pixie twirled in place.

Naoki frowned, “won't stop you,” he grumbled.

Pixie smiled “Of course you won't, you're weird like that.”

He tilled his head to the side.

“Most pack leaders don't just let demons come and go, you know?”

“Oh,” he rubbed the back of his head. He wasn't sure how he felt about his flaws as a demon, on one hand it was nice to know there was something separating him from real demons, on the other, it was frustrating that there was a part of him that he couldn't understand.

Pixie sighed “Oh man, I can't just leave you like that! You're going to walk right into some big guys jaws spacing out all the time!” she pouted “Unless you want me to go? I bet you'd rather have some stronger demons in your party...”

“No,” Naoki replied immediately “I need you.” 

“Of course you do!” She shouted with absolute delight.

Meeting the Lady Of The Fount was a surprise. Well, it was more of a surprise to Naoki that a place like the fountain existed at all. He had sort of accepted that healing was a thing ghosts did, but the rules of this world kept changing. 

Still it was... nice. It was a place to rest safely. He could tell his demons appreciated it as well. He hummed quietly in his chest. Pixie kept glancing at him, holding back her laughter, but he felt too contented in the springs water to examine it too deeply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's nothing funny about purring, Pixie. It's completely natural.


	3. Shibuya

When he first heard about fusion he felt a little sick. He couldn't just sacrifice his demons to make stronger ones like it was some kind of numbers game. But then Kodama started floating closer and closer to the summoning circle. When he glanced around he saw that all of the demons were similarly entranced by it. He noticed Pixie beginning to move toward it too and reached out his hand to block her path. 

She bumped against it and blinked a few times, “Wha-?” she looked up at Naoki's worried face “What's the matter?”

He let out a whine “you want this?”

She seemed to not understand the question for a moment “Yes? I guess.” she squinted “I want to be stronger.” 

He shifted his weight from foot to foot “You'd disappear...”

Pixie fluttered her wings “No I wouldn't, not really,” Naoki whined again “I'd be a different demon sure, but all my time as Pixie will still be there.”

He shook his head, lost in matters of demons once again.

Only this time Pixie really didn't know what the problem was let alone how to explain it. Luckily there was an expert around.

The Minister coughed in an attempt to be polite, “Is there an issue? I'd be more than happy to answer any questions.”

Naoki locked his eyes on the Minister. Part of him felt oddly at peace near him, the other was rather disturbed that he couldn't tell if he was human or not. Naoki tried saying something, but all that came out was a growl. He blinked a few times, then tried again, but the result was the same. He shook his head, frustrated again.

Pixie picked up on his struggles “Naoki doesn't understand why or um... if demons want to be fused” and neither did she.

“Ah, I see, that's an interesting point to bring up,” the Minister smirked, it was hard to make out under his beard. “I don't believe 'wants' play into the fusion ritual, not in the way you'd imagine. From a human perspective” Naoki flinched “it could be called evolution. From a more spiritual side, it's an extension of this worlds purpose, that is, rebirth.” The Minister motioned at the summoning circle “Just as this world will be reforged by the sacrifice of the old world, so will new demons be born. I suspect it's this reincarnation that the demons are drawn to.” he looked back at Naoki “To put it simply, it's in their nature.”

Not in Naoki's nature apparently. The whole concept of reincarnation left a foul taste in his mouth. But this wasn't really about him. If this was something normal or even expected for his demons than there wasn't really a reason to oppose it other than his own attachments. His weakness. 

Naoki left with a smaller but significantly stronger party, and Pixie. 

Meeting Chiaki was odd. Bittersweet maybe? Naoki put his hand on his chest while he walked. He was expecting something else. A joyful reunion or relief to see that his friend was still alive. At the very least he didn't think they'd just separate again. They shouldn't have separated, it was illogical and irresponsible of him to just let her leave. But she was weak. No, she was his friend and he barely said two words to her. It would've just been wasted breath to talk to her. 

“I'm sure she'll be fine. She survived this long on her own,” Pixie chirped into his ear.

“Not worried” he replied curtly and with a start realized that it was true. It was her own decision to go off on her own. He could barley muster any kind of strong feelings toward her at all. 

Naoki recalled what she said to him Nothing phases me anymore... What if that's what happens to humans when their whole world collapses? What's there left to care about? He thought before that most of his emotions were left over from his human half, but maybe it was the other way around? Maybe if he didn't have this wind up need in his body to keep fighting, to get stronger, maybe he would've given up by now?

Well it's a good thing he did have it then

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Demon fusion is weird and I love it. Hope you like my take on it.


	4. Amala Network and the Labyrinth

He appreciated Hijiri, really, he did. It was comforting to have another human to work with and to have some kind of goal to work towards. And he was pretty impressed that Hijiri had managed to operate the strange device to his own advantage. All that didn't change the fact that he hated being ordered around by the human. Sure, technically they were working together, but try telling that to his demon brain. 

Each time he heard Hijiri's voice he started growling, barley able to form a response to his questions. When he did he was snappy and uncooperative. It made him feel a bit ridiculous, like a teenager throwing a fit at his parents. Which he hadn't done even when he was just an average teenager. Regardless, the thoughts of weak, he's weak, he shouldn't be telling me what to do! were impossible to ignore. 

Naoki was almost grateful when the Specter started to pester him. At least he could tare it apart without any reservations. Needless to say it's retreat left him incredibly unsatisfied.

The whole stage set up was interesting. He didn't think he could use the word weird, not after everything that was becoming normal to him. It was definitely interesting to meet that woman again. He should probably hate her, all things considered. She was obliviously somehow connected to this whole conception thing and with his... condition. Although Naoki still hadn't decided how he felt about the latter. He certainly wouldn't have consented to it if given a choice, but it's undeniable that without this power he'd be long dead. 

He didn't give much consideration to the candelabrum other than asking Pixie if she knew what it's for.

“Nope! Never seen anything like it before, but it's probably important if she gave it to you.”

Naoki nodded and didn't pursue the subject further. He still wasn't in the mood for chit-chat. Even with Hijiri's voice gone, he felt on edge. The woman had said You are still weak and unable to withstand the flow of Magatsuhi in Amala that sounded like a good reason behind his agitation. Though if this is what Magatushi did to demons Naoki didn't see the appeal. There was an almost painful sting at being called a weakling that wasn't there outside of Amala that he'd rather avoid, as well as his outbursts at Hijiri.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used to read Amala as Almara for too long to admit.


	5. Ginza and The Great Underpass of Ginza

Shibuya had had it's fare share of demons who would rather party and man shops than battle, but Ginza was on a whole nother level. It didn't look like the end of the world had happened in there at all. There were demons around and some of them tried to pick a fight with Naoki, but a lot of them were just living their lives. There were shops and guards and a bar. Naoki almost did a double take when he entered and saw a human looking bar tender, demonic patrons and ghosts all just existing together.

It was enough to give him pause about the Assembly of Nihilo. Naoki could constantly feel his demonic power urging him to dig his claws into anything that might pose a challenge. He imagined that it was even more intense for real demons, but the belief in the Assembly was enough to tame them. He respected that. It might've even been enough to consider joining them, if it wasn't for their commander.

As far as Naoki was concerned, Hikawa caused the conception: destroyed his world, killed his family, would have killed him if not for his transformation, and he was going to pay.

Just for a moment he believed that humanity wasn't completely wiped out, it made him feel excited. Then the Manikins finally introduced themselves and that illusion was shattered, but the feeling didn't leave. When Naoki heard the tragic state of the Manikins existence he even felt sympathetic. There was an odd kinship between him and them. They were also created after the conception, like his demon half, but they retained a lot of their humanity. Being among them was calming, they were too weak to cause him any harm so his demon part was less on edge. And they didn't mind him walking around, they saw a clear distinction between him and other demons.

It made so many of his gentler emotions resurface. Naoki realized that it's not that those emotions were gone, it's that the magatama was overpowering them because they weren't useful. And useful meant motivating his bloodlust. It sent a shiver down his spine.

The Manikins, ironically, made him feel more human than any of the humans he'd met. Their bodies may have been covered up and they at times moved in unnatural ways, but their emotions and position were so very real. They were scared, huddled together, doing their best to survive. They were angry at their oppressors, with a righteous fury he hadn't seen in any demon. And they were hopeful, they wanted to make something better. Naoki's heart clenched.

Before, he figured that if the Mantra were the enemy of his enemy, he could make some allies. Now it was obvious it was going to be a three way clash.

Naoki was getting ready to drop kick that Loki bastard, when Pixie started pulling on his horn. He snarled and turned around, swiping at her direction. She dodged easily and put her hands on her hips.

“What are you doing?!” she scream-whispered.

He growled “Bill.”

She crossed her arms wishing that she could know what was happening in his head. She hadn't known him for very long, but she'd gotten the impression that he was smarter than this. Naoki was much stronger than when they first met, but they still clearly didn't stand a chance against such a powerful demon. She noticed the way Loki had straightened in his seat and was staring them down.

“We need to go!” Pixie shouted with all the might her little voice would allow “We have a meeting, remember?!” she stared at his eyes, hoping to get trough.

Naoki tilted his head to the side and was about to ask something.

“Now! Or we'll be late!” she gritted her teeth.

Thankfully, that time he took the hint and they left the bar quickly. Pixie breathed a sigh of relief outside.

Then got to scolding, “What was that?!”

Naoki raised an eyebrow, “We need the bill.”

“No we don't!” she sounded exasperated “How's that manikin going to stop us from opening the gate? Cry on you? Or why not just go tell that collector that if he wants his piece of paper he can go fight Loki himself?! Why don't you jus-” she bit her tongue.

Naoki was sneering at her, clearly showing one of his fangs, his eyes glowing faintly with magic. She'd never been scared of him before. He caught himself a moment later and covered his mouth, but the glare in his eyes was still obvious, “You... don't understand,” and he wasn't going to explain it to her either. That wasn't how their dynamic worked, she realized.

It was quiet and awkward like never before. The demons standing guard subtly moved away from them. The Bicorn, not one to be frightened easily nor interested in social cues, nudged against Naoki's back. He flinched slightly, looking away.

Naoki took a deep breath, put his hand down, tried to smooth his expressions. Finally, said “Sorry, I'm not mad.”

“You're so mad, Naoki. It'd be funny if it was that Hijiri guy again.”

He breathed a quiet laugh, Pixie relaxed at the sound. “Is it because it was a human thing?” she asked. He looked at her from the corner of his eye, not wanting to be intimidating again. “The bill, I mean, is that why you want it?”

He almost whined. How could he explain that there wasn't any good reason for him to do this other than he wanted to help those Manikins any way he could. He knew that it was a burdensome desire. The Magatama stirred in protest to it. “Not, hm, exactly.”

Pixie fluttered and sighed “Well, whatever it is there's a better way to get it than getting into bar fights,” Naoki turned to her sharply, she smirked “He said that the Bill isn't on him, remember?”

Naoki's eyes widened with realisation and they were back to trudging trough the sands of the Vortex world side by side.

It wasn't a fair fight at all. He was ambushed, the Matador clearly outweighing him and his demons in sheer strength. Half of Naoki's party had fallen. His own body was covered in bruises, something was definitely broken. He was shaking, leaning against the wall, smiling again, like before his fight with Forneus. Only this felt so much better, so _satisfying_. He was downright _ecstatic_ , his demon side purred like a wind up spring releasing. He did some healing and reviving for his demons, but didn't use anything of himself. He wanted the feeling of surviving and of _winning_ to linger as long as possible.

Pixie fluttered around, examining him and their group. She wasn't sure what just happened, but she knew that it was all because of that candelabrum, “We should probably leave those things behind, huh?”

“What?” He asked hazily.

She flew up to look at his smiling face “Well they're clearly dangerous. What if another big shot attacks us just to try and get them?”

His smile widened. Pixie was certain that it was going to tare his face in two. “You think there'll be more of them?” he asked, hopefully.

“... No.” she lied.

Naoki started laughing, loudly. It was the loudest sound Pixie had heard from him. He raised one hand, open palm up and held it right below her feet, “Come on, this wasn't so bad was it? We beat it at the end.”

Well, that was new. Pixie landed on his hand if for no other reason than being awfully tired from flying around panic stricken during the last battle, “And what if it doesn't go so well next time, huh?”

“Hmm, then I'll lose,” he said smirking.

“Naoki, stop acting like more of an idiot than usual.” she demanded.

He laughed again “Alright, alright. How about, for now, we go and see what that lady has to say? And then we'll decide what to do with these candles.”

She pouted, crossing her arms “What if we attract something else before we get to her?”

He sighed “Well, before this one attacked, the candelabrums flames flickered. We just have to watch out for that,” he reasoned.

She narrowed her eyes “So when the flame flickers, you'll get out of there as fast as possible, right?”

He looked conflicted for a moment. Pixie grumbled. “Yes, for now at least,” he pushed away from the wall “I wouldn't want to go into a battle like that again without being properly prepared anyway,” and he brought her up to his shoulder.

She hesitated, looked at Naoki's face, his expression had relaxed considerably from the manic mess it was before. She sighed dramatically and fell gracefully into a sitting position on his shoulder, “You know, when I agreed to come with you, I didn't think I'd turn into such a chatterbox, let alone a worrywart.”

He hummed, starting to walk further into the tunnel “Maybe you just needed an idiot half demon to bring out the best in you.”

Pixie flicked her wings sharply a few times and pushed against his head with her hand “Shut up and take a life stone, you fiend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell I love the Manikins?  
> Also I never expected to like Pixie as much as I do.


	6. Labyrinth of Amala: first kalpa

It was all very suspicious. Especially the overly fond way the Lady had spoken to him. He figured it could be a demon thing or a form of manipulation. Not that it was very effective manipulation. Naoki didn't understand why they couldn't have told him about the fiends from the start. If they really wanted him to gather all the candelabrum, it seemed counter productive to just let him loose with one of them without any explanation. He could have very well died in the last fight after all. The memory sent another pleasant wave of warmth trough his body. 

It was that feeling that he was prepared to chase down, he could care less about their plea for help. He was tempted to gather all the candelabras and keep them for himself, just to spite her and that man. But he'd be lying if he said that he wasn't curios about this Labyrinth. If the rumours were to be believed, the Assembly of Nihilo was gathering Magatushi from the Amala network, so maybe he could find a way to mess that up for them. He was also rather proud that he was more in control than the last time he was in Amala, it was like a sign of his growth.

After making a wrong turn and falling down a hole for the fourth time he was keenly aware of why this place was called a Labyrinth. He growled as he ordered another liftoma spell, Pixie giggled next to him. He was becoming tense again. Partly because of the repetition of the maze, but more so because the demons around weren't very interesting. Not weak, but not life or death encounters by any means.

“Gees, can you only calm down when you're getting beaten to death?” Pixie half joked.

He grumbled “Maybe.”

Naoki stopped and turned to look at Pixie. She stopped too, looking at him, tilting her head to the side. He opened his mouth then shut it again quickly, snarled at the floor. He tried again “Why...” he growled “Talking.”

Pixie tilted her head to the other side “... Should I not talk?” that sounded like a deal breaker.

Naoki shook his head vigorously, “Me,” he choked.

“What? Why you're talking? I don't know, you're not good at it.” Naoki whined “It's alright?” she tried “Lots of demons aren't very good at it. Some of them can't at all. Although,” she put a hand under her chin “You did talk a lot after the fight with that Matador.”

He did. He talked like he did before the conception. But why did his speech change at all? Naoki grumbled and put his hands around himself. Why did it feel so odd? He shook his head. Now that he was paying attention to it, he realized how distinctly unnatural it felt to speak. It felt bad, like getting told he's weak bad. He felt something tugging at his hands.

Pixie was pretty sure he was going to hurt himself gripping so hard “Hey, c'mon, it's fine, it hasn't been a problem so far, right?” She felt his hands relax “Besides, if you need to say something big you can always count on me,” she thought that was part of why he still kept her around, since he wasn't sending her out to battles. 

Naoki sighed, making a conscious effort to relax. She was right, there was little use in getting worked up over something he can't change. However, it was still disturbing how he hadn't noticed, like his mind and body had accepted it without his consent. It made him wonder what other aspects of himself he'd unknowingly taken for granted... and if those parts could even be considered him. Naoki tried to keep a distinction between his human half and his demon half, but he still thought they were part of him. What if the demon half was something else entirely?

“Stooooop iiit!” Pixie whined. She got in his face and started waving her arms around. Naoki leaned back and started blinking rapidly. “What's so bad about this talking thing?! You're still you, weather you're annoyingly grumpy or annoyingly cheerful!” 

“I'm not grumpy,” he growled.

“Sure.” she crossed her arms “Listen, if you wanna talk, we can talk. I don't mind waiting.” Not like they were getting anywhere with Naoki freaking himself out in his head.

Waste of time. He shook his head violently. That was it. His demon half or the Magatama, or something thought that talking was holding him back from finding his new mark. Well then, it's just going to need to learn some patience.

Naoki sat down on the ground, his demons made themselves comfortable in response. He held out his palms and placed them in his lap, looking at Pixie. She landed in his hands and sat down. She looked up at him expectantly.

He gritted his teeth, “There's,” he grunted “two halves...”

It took awhile, but they all waited for him to finish.

So the Lady was willing to share some information with him. He supposed that was a better deal than just the privilege of being allowed to run around this Labyrinth. Still, it was annoying that she was prepared to drip feed him what she wanted him to know and not let him ask questions himself.

What she did share didn't sit well with Naoki at all. He'd already known most of it just from the way everyone was talking about the Vortex world and rebirth, but he hadn't considered that it was some sort of unchanging cycle. He had placed the blame on Hikawa and moved on. However, if this was going to happen no matter what... 

Naoki grumbled and rubbed his eyes. He turned and went to search for the cylinder. He'd done enough thinking, reflecting and talking for a good long while. He decided to save his considerations of the nature of the word for after he beat up some of those Mantra demons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna make the Demi-fiend angst out of his mind apparently


	7. Mantra Headquarters

Well, at least he knew that he still cared about his friends. Enough to feel rage when Thor hit Isamu across the room. Naoki was prepared to annihilate him then and there, but apparently the Mantra had a system for criminals. That was rich. The Mantra were violent, impulsive, brutish and yet still needed a pretext for beating him up. They wanted to separate the weak from the powerful, good. Naoki rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed. No, they were abusive idiots, not too different from humans who hoarded power in the old word. After his chat with Pixie, finally articulating some of his worries, it was clearer to him where the line lay between his human feelings and demon instincts, but it didn't make it any easier to balance the two. Still, a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he was escorted to the arena. He'll show them exactly how strong he was.

...A utopia, where only the strong may live, Thor had said it with such reverence and conviction, Naoki admired that. But the idea itself was underdeveloped at best. What did it even mean to be strong? To be able to kill anything in your path? What's the point of living in a world like that at all? Eventually, the strong would just destroy everything trying to prove that they're the strongest. Naoki knew it wasn't really about that, it was about being better than someone else, about forcing your will on others. It was only a utopia to those at the top of the pecking order and those at the bottom...He remembered the Manikins in the underpass and in the Mantra prison, and Isamu getting his magatushi stolen. It wasn't any different than the world they had before, more honest maybe. Which is why he was lazying around in the spring instead of going back to Mantra headquarters.

Pixie flicked the water off her wings and flew up to rest on his shoulder. Their new dynamic was still kinda weird for her. She wasn't sure if Naoki actually liked talking to her, at times it almost looked painful for him, but that wasn't going to stop her from probing. “I would've thought a fight like that would put you in a better mood. What's the matter?” 

He hummed, watching Nozuchi dip one of it's legs into the fountain hesitantly. He remembered that Lilim hadn't liked the water either. He sunk deeper into the pool. “I don't... want to meet him,” he tried explaining.

“Gozu-Tennoh?” she asked, Naoki nodded in response. She tilted her head to the side “You're mad about the Manikins, right?” He nodded again. She was confused when he first explained his desire to help the Manikins, but it did make séance that someone half-human would relate to them. “So what? Going to see him doesn't mean you agree with his methods.” she reasoned.

Naoki sat up straighter “Not just meeting. Need help with... Nihilo.”

“Oooh,” Pixie exclaimed “You don't wanna get in bed with the Mantra!” 

Naoki scowled. He wouldn't have put it like that but “Yeah...”

“Pfff,” she waved with one hand, as if throwing something away “You know, they don't actually trust us just because we won their little game. They want to use us and we want to use them. We're not obligated to help them if it doesn't benefit us, we're not allies.”

He blinked a few times. Then stood up abruptly, Pixie flew off his shoulder. Of course! They were strong and he was using them for his own ends. That's it. He felt guilt building in his chest at the idea of doing anything for those bastards, but he pushed it down. It wasn't the place or time for sentimentality. First he'll take out Nihilo and then the Mantra, it didn't need to be anymore complicated other than reaching the top. Being the strongest. 

He motioned for his demons to get ready to go. He looked at Pixie “Thanks.”

The flames of the candelabrum started to flicker. He almost bounced with anticipation. When the man jumped off the building Naoki grinned mindlessly. A worthy challenger. Only when the man decided to retreat did it hit him who he was fighting. Another human. Or something that looked and felt like a human or... half-human? He said he'd met the old man. Was he the same as Naoki? He nearly kicked himself for going battle crazy instead of trying to get some information out of that guy.

“Bleh, what an asshole.” Pixie remarked “Demon hunters are the worst.”

The negotiations with Gozu-Tennoh had gone better than expected, all things considered.

Naoki was really hoping to say something more, oppose the demon in some way, make his hate for them known. But when he saw the tied Manikin, writhing in pain, all his thoughts were replaced with anger. That was quickly turning out to be an awfully dangerous state of mind for him. The Magatama responded by sending shocks of power trough his body, urging him to attack and his mind couldn't come up with any good reason to deny that urge. Then that giant had the gall to offer him a place among their ranks. Naoki was about to start swiping at the statue when Pixie pulled on his horn, the same way she had when making sure he wouldn't get killed over a piece of prepare.

“We don't have to agree with him, Naoki.” she reminded.

He growled, stepping back from Gozu-Tennoh. He declined the offer, but still got what he wanted. Which was good. Even if it felt like being squashed like a bug.

The unfinished fight with that Dante guy and the conversation with the Mantra leader had left him wound up. It felt almost as bad as being in the Amala network for the first time. He tried looking around for the man in red, try to get a rematch, but he'd been too late. Naoki wasn't sure which direction he'd even gone to.

However luck seemed to smile on him as he wandered to the warehouse on the eastern side of Ikebukuro. The flame flickered as he was greeted by the ringing of bells. Finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Gozu-Tennoh's design so much. What's a better metaphor for oppressive strength than a gain fuck off statue at the top of a skyscraper. Beautiful.


	8. Assembly of Nihilo

It was a shame that he couldn't get along with Hijiri better. He was glad to see that the man was alive and still fighting against the Assembly of Nihilo. But he was a bit ticked off that the man would think he'd join the Mantra. He didn't need them to get stronger. So once again, their encounter had been a brief exchange of information and a goodbye.

It was useful information at least. Naoki wasn't surprised at all that the Mantra missed the true core of the Nihilo facility, not the brightest bunch after all.

  


The deeper he went the more intensely he could feel the flow of Magatushi. It was incredible how closely it resembled the feeling of Amala. Naoki wondered how much research Hikawa must've done to accomplish this, how many resources he spent, how many years of his life did he dedicate to prepare for the end of the world. Maybe if this whole rebirth thing was measured by determination he'd have already won. He growled. It was really annoying how he kept finding things to admire about the man who ruined his life.

At least he could resent him for the puzzles. Apparently, it wasn't only the flow of Magatushi that Hikawa copied from the Labyrinth.

The Kaiwan demon made Naoki understand the Mantra a little better. After it ran away from him for the third time, he saw the virtue in locking up your enemy before _crushing_ them.

  


Hikawa was the complete opposite of Gozu-Tennoh. The demon was interested in power, the human in knowledge. The Mantra wanted him to join them, Nihilo wanted him out of the way. One ruled with might, arrogantly looking over his world from on high, the other planed carefully, lurking underground. One lost and the other won.

As Naoki trudged back to Ginza, he felt like he'd lost too. He didn't think the Assembly of Nihilo had so much power, he didn't even know it was possible to steal so much Magatushi. He still didn't understand so much about this new world.

And Yuko. He rubbed his face. He already knew she must’ve survived the conception, but he didn’t know what to do with such direct conformation from Hikawa. He still didn’t even understand what she hoped to accomplish by calling him to that damn hospital. Did she expect him to save her? Or was he supposed to be some sort of sacrifice? When she spoke to him on the roof, she almost seemed apologetic. If she didn’t want to end the world, she sure took a strange life path.

Naoki smirked to himself, he wondered what kind of expression she’ll make when she finds out he’s been eating demon bugs to get stronger. He stopped. What would she think? Her favourite student. Great things, she said she saw great things in his future. Was this it? Becoming a barley functioning amalgamation of teenage dramatics and demonic bloodthirst. What would she do? Would she pity him? Would she fear him? Will she reject him? With a look of disgust on her face, she’ll turn away and tell Hikawa to kill Naoki after all. And he won’t even feel sad or betrayed or scared he’ll just hate her. The same way the fiend inside him hates everything that stands in his way. He’s going to kill her and he’s going to like it.

A gust of wind knocked him to the side. Surprised, he rolled downhill, getting sand in his face and hair. He jumped back to his feet, teeth bared, muscles tense.

“Pixie told me to do it!” Uzume said hiding behind the smaller demon or at least trying to.

Naoki relaxed somewhat, staring at Pixie in disbelief.

“You were ignoring me!” she explained.

“No,” he said trying to get the sand off. When he touched his face, he turned away from his demons quickly. Panic rising in his chest.

“Uh, yeah,” Pixie flew closer to his face, like she’d become accustomed to, only to get pushed away “What the…?” she tried to look at him thought his fingers. “Naoki?”

“It’s fine,” he started walking quickly, shoulders tense “Let’s move.”

The others followed without question. Yet Pixie stayed hovering in place “But-”

The fiend half turned, only showing his fangs “We’re _going_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuko is so weird my dudes. I could write a one shot just speculating on what in the world makes a high school teacher fall into a fanatic cult bent on remaking the world and then also deciding to get her students in on it. Also time for Pixie to angst too :)))


	9. Mantra Headquarters II

Pixie was decidedly not pleased. This wasn’t the first time Naoki had snubbed her, but usually he did it when he was too busy looking for a beating to form coherent thoughts, not when he was very clearly lucid and upset about something. He must’ve been moody that Hikawa got away or maybe that he didn’t get to destroy the Mantra himself? She would’ve asked if he didn’t keep pushing her away with a growl.

After the fourth time, she huffed angrily, “Ugh! Fine, not like I wanted an invitation to your pity party anyway!” and flew away.

The fiend at least had the decency to look back worriedly for a moment, but he turned away as soon as he realised that Pixie only flew to the back of his pack and didn’t actually leave. Maybe she should’ve, just to teach him a lesson.

“I-is everything alright?” Uzume asked, still recovering from the fact that she sort of kind of attacked her leader.

Pixie sighed “Yeah, he’s just being stupid,” Uzume winced “What? He is!”

Pisaca, who had spent quite a few of their past lives with them, groaned in a vaguely affirmative way.

“I know right!” Pixie rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, resolute to have a good long sulk of her own. It’s not like this was easy for her either. Listening, consideration, understanding – they weren’t exactly trademark demonic traits. Pixie considered herself somewhat exceptional in this regard, if Naoki couldn’t appreciate this then he could very well get torn to shreds buy virtue of his own angst.

Ikebukuro was in chaos, well, more chaos. The walls were scorched from fire and cracked with claw marks. The sounds of shouting and fighting rang out. The Mantra demons were either trying to run away or attacking anything that moved out of confusion and fear. To think that only moments before they’d been celebrating a triumphant victory. Naoki almost felt bad for them. He also felt that seeing Gozu-Tennoh’s demise would brighten his mood considerably and made a beeline for the Mantra Headquarters.

However, that plan backfired as meeting Chiaki did very much not brighten his mood at all. Now that he could better understand the magatama he felt guilty about leaving her behind. His demonic instincts may come in handy in battle, but they shouldn’t dictate how he treats his friends. He was ready to make amends, grab hold of Chiaki and shield her from all the awful things she’d already seen far too much of. And then - _That's why I want to create my ideal society, a paradise ruled by_ _the strong, the chosen_ , it hit him like lighting. She looked at him, not at Naoki, at the Demifiend. She looked at him like she _knew._ About power and control and what it takes to get it. He looked back at someone he didn’t know anymore. 

She left Naoki, again. Because she didn’t need him. Why did he think she would? He rubbed at his eyes, feeling tired for the first time in what must’ve been weeks. He shifted his weight as the building shook from all the Magatushi being drained. He looked at the walls, watching the color fade from them. He sighed, feeling oddly calm, human. He moved towards the elevators. 

Pixie fidgeted, fluttering around in anxious circles around Pisaca. Naoki was already so tense, meeting that human again couldn’t have helped, but now he was suddenly all sluggish and _relaxed._ She didn’t even hear most of their conversation, but it couldn’t have been good. On her tenth lap Pisaca let out a few gurgles. 

“What? I am calm, perfectly calm. I’m not worried. It’s not like I care or anything, pff...“ her wings started batting at double speed.

Makami floated closer to make its displeasure about the erratic wind currents known.

“Buzz off you glorified kite! I’m having a moment here,” she snapped.

It hissed at her, colliding its body into a tense, pouncing position. Pixie yelped and hid behind Pisaca, who raised their eyes and opened their mouth wider.

“Cut that out!” Uzume said gliding closer. Neither demon seemed to pay her much mind. She clicked her tongue “I’m sure that when the leader calls Pixie back to his side he’ll be absolutely thrilled to see how she got beaten up by her own pack.”

Makami wanted to argue how Pixie was very much the instigator but decided that it would rather not argue with their leader at all and flew away grumbling.

Pixie hovered near Pisaca, staring at the back of their head quietly. They raised and twisted one eye to look at her. She patted the top of the eyeball, “I’m okay… it’s just” she looked over at Uzume “Do you really think he’d do that?”

“What?” Uzume asked.

“That he’ll like- I don’t know, like” call for her? Get angry for her? That he’ll “care?”

“I-“ Uzumes dress fluttered with anxious spasms “ I don’t know, I just didn’t want any pack infighting.”

“Right…” 

Seeing Gozu-Tennoh crumble was a small consolation. If there was one group that decidedly shouldn’t rule the world, it was the Mantra. Yet Naoki hoped it would’ve been more satisfying. The giants last words , _My kingdom shall rise again,_ held such confidence, even in death. He would’ve liked to rub out any notion of their superiority before ending them, but it was done.

When he met Thor outside, he listened passively, confused why the demon even felt the need to monologue at him. He noted the mention of Isamu with a spike of interest. At least he could try reaching out to one of his friends before it’s too late. 

“What the god damn hell?!” Pixie watched Thor leave with her mouth hanging open “He didn’t even growl or anything!” 

Naoki often thought that between the three of them Isamu was the least adaptable. He was almost more surprised than relieved to see him alive and kicking in all this mess. But Isamu had made it this far on his own and was even well informed about the new world. More than that, he was driven. All this time he’d actually been actively searching for Ms. Yuko and knew where he was heading next. Maybe if Isamu had had Naokis powers, he would have already found her. 

“There's no place where I can be safe...So, I'll take my chances. Lates.” Isamu said and headed for the open cell door.

The demifiend moved in front of him “You’re going to the prison?” he asked, pleased that his demon brain was only grumbling in displeasure instead of roaring.

“Uh… yeah, that’s the plan…” his friend looked at him and took a step back.

“I’m going there too. The mankinis, we should free them, I think,” he stepped forward, “We could go together.”

Isamu pressed against the back wall of his cell, “Right, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

The demon stopped about an arm’s length away from his friend.

“It’s just, you’re, y’know,” Isamu swallowed, “I don’t really travel the same way you do. I can’t go around fighting demons, I’m sure I’d be a burden-“

“I can protect you,” Naoki said almost completely monotone.

“I’d rather not get in the way of anything I might need protection from in the first place,” Isamu stared at the demifiend. “You understand, right, Naoki?”

“Yeah,” Naokis voice was low, “You should get going while the other demons are still disoriented.”

Isamu smiled, relieved. He left quickly, making a wide arc around Naokis pack. Around him. Chiaki didn’t need him, and Isamu didn’t _want_ him. 

Pisaca groaned raising their eyes towards Pixie. “I don’t know, he’s probably spacing out or something. Though he’s never done it for so long…”

Naoki hadn’t moved a muscle since that other human left. Most of the demons had sat down presuming it was time to rest. Pisaca moaned. “What’s the point? He’ll just push me away again,” she crossed her arms.

“At least he won’t bare his teeth at you,” Uzume reassured “It couldn’t hurt to try.”

Pixie drifted for a few more moments. The fiend just kept standing there, docile. “Fine,” she zipped to his side, leaving a rush of wind in her wake. “Hey, Naoki, doing alright there?”

He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t push her away either.

Pixie flew forward and ventured a look at his face. She yelped, flinching back. His expression was all but completely placid except for the glassy appearance of his eyes. Her shock quickly morphed into dread. She chanced a glace back at their pack, glad to see that they were contented to ignore her and Naoki for now.

“What are you doing?!” she scream-whispered, dashing in front of his eyes.

She’d seen enough would-be Bosses slaughtered by their followers to know that there was a limit to how much weakness a leader could show. Their pack may have accepted Naokis little sulking fits, but they were usually accompanied by barley contained aggression, not crying.

She waved her hands, hoping to get the fiends attention “C’mon! Get a grip, would you?!”

He stared at something behind her. She buzzed, full of frustration and anxiety, “I’m sorry, okay? I don’t actually want you to get torn to bits!” He blinked slowly. “Oh for the love of!” she grabbed at the hair on his forehead and pulled.

“Ow!” Naoki moved back and brought his hand up to his hair, “What-“ recognition sparked in his eyes “Pixie?”

“Finally!” Pixie sagged in the air from relief. Naoki raised a palm underneath her. She plopped down, exhausted.

“Are you okay?” the fiend asked.

“Am I- Are _you_?” she pointed at him with a scowl “I leave you alone for five minutes and you end up sobbing in a corner!” 

Naoki scowled back “I wasn’t sobbing,” he rubbed at his eyes with his free hand. 

“You better not have been,” her voice dropped lower. “Do you know what happens to Leaders who can’t take the heat?”

Naoki felt his Magatama rile up like a cornered animal. His body shivered “I have a pretty good idea…” his fingers twitched almost touching Pixie.

“Right. So we should probably get going, don’t ya think?” she prompted gratefully.

“Probably…” he turned to look at his pack. It was an odd mix of emotions to see them all relaxing, feeling safe in his presence, while knowing that they wouldn’t be there if he was even a little weaker.

“Do you wanna have another talk?” Pixie tried.

“No,” he replied instantly “there’s more important things to do.” he’d spent enough time wallowing, it wasn’t fair to let the Mankinis stay locked up for any longer. He felt a prick on his palm.

Pixie looked up at him “We can talk about it later, too. I’m not going anywhere.”

Naoki smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The two ways to mellow out your demifiend are violence and sadness


End file.
